2011 in Retrospect...

Finally, its coming to the end of 2011.

And as per tradition, on the 30th of December every year, I will write a review abt the year; while 31st, I will write about the hopes for the next year.

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I think 2011 had been quite a rollercoaster ride. It started with a high, where things seemed to be flowing well, got businesses coming in, have a lovely gf and hopes are really high for the year.

But unfortunately, it turns out that one of the "major" client is a toxic account, dragging the project and payment for 6 mths, before I only receiving the puny little sum for the classified ad, one project cancelled, and another project stopped - and then resumed last month, and while its completed, I havent even received the payment even up till today. And the client said during the early month (jan/feb) that its "URGENT". Lesson learnt.

My lovely, now ex-gf, brought me to Phuket for my birthday. I enjoyed the trip though with lotsa uneasiness as regard to that toxic client's works. She sponsored the entire trip, but she made some mistake with the finance planning, ended up burning quite a bit of cash that unnecessary. But there is nothing I can do to help, as I'm still scrapping the bit in my difficult entrepreneurial journey.

Then in June, its Bali. Ah~ Beautiful Bali.... Enjoyed the trip a lot more - it was for our 1 year anniversary. It was beautiful... riding horses and the sunset...

But then, things start to turn awry as the draggy business wears out the patience of my love; and her discontent at work pouring into our relationship as well... from bad to worse, the relationship finally ended as she finally gave up, in pursue of what I think is "the lifestyle she want" over "indefinite wait for this ill-fated lover".

Then came months of anguish, frustration, sadness and depression. The autumn period into the early winter is a dangerous stage of depression and I had seriously considered medical help - seeking anti-depressant. Then just as I decided on it, my mood starts to turn better and my depression slowly recedes... Work rate and productive slowly recover with the fading depression.

As I finally concluded that the broken relationship is irreconcilable, I turn the attention towards myself totally. With the moral and mental support of Jason, comes my futile 10 weeks 10 kg slimming challenge (it failed, I only dropped 3kg). I shaved my head to slap myself conscious that my current state of being is in no readiness for a new life nor new courtship. I signed up a Kick-boxing aerobic class as the only male student there. Its Project Awesome. (inspired by Barney from "How I know your mother" - which is one of the significant new "hobby/interest" - a new fav drama/sitcom series I gotten in 2011)

Project Awesome is a personal development project where I will slim down, become fit, become well groomed, well dressed, with a stable and successful business - and that I will become desirable again to the eyes of women; a life where work is balanced with social life and exercises; where gyming, swimming and sports is a regular part of my weekly life. I need my self-esteem back, I need my confidence back, I need to be what I always meant to be. To find back the real Mingji.

Now, I only left with 3 hamsters (Hugo, Thunder and Dior) - grateful to her that she left the 3 hamsters that bonded the best with me; while the other 7 now resides at her place. My aquarium is still alive, with Tut tut, Ah Beng and Bu Bai still ruling the MingjiSea. I would miss her dog though: Fluffy. ={

Ultimately, the most significant event in 2011, is still about losing someone I loved; and that from that, for once in my life, I persisted to the very very end (in something; anything) that, when I come round to face the fact - I have no regrets whatsoever. I did my best, literally. I will do likewise for Joji.

The past 3-4 months shaped what I had thought my 2011 review would be, so much that... I cant really write it any more "beautiful" than the blandness of it as above.

I hope Project Awesome could be pulled off, and I can finally be awesome.